Memo To All Students
In order to

assure the highest levels of quality work and



productivity from students, it will be our

policy to keep all students well taught through our program of SPECIAL

HIGH

INTENSITY

TEACHING (S.H.I.T.).

We are trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you



feel that

you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the course, please see your

lecturer. You will be immediately

placed at the top of

the S.H.I.T. list, and our

lecturers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the

S.H.I.T. you can

handle.

Students

who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL

EDUCATIONAL

EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.

S.H.I.T.).

Those who fail to take

D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to

EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING

(E.A.T.

S.H.I.T.). Since our lecturers took S.H.I.T. before they graduated, they don't

have to do

S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all

full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you

may be

interested in a job teaching others. We can add your

name to our BASIC

UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L.

S.H.I.T.).

For students who are intending to pursue



a career in management and consulting, we will refer you

to the department of MANAGERIAL

OPERATIONAL RESEARCH

EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course emphasizes how to

manage

M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.

If you have further

questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF

TEACHING, SPECIAL

HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.

S.H.I.T.).

Thank you, BOSS IN

GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (B.I.G.



S.H.I.T.)

Sincerely,

The

Director Under the Michigan Bureau of Super High Intensity Teaching.
(The



D.U.M.B.

S.H.I.T.)