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Bob went for a weekend visit to his 90 year old grandfather in a secluded, rural area of the state. In the morning, Grandpa prepared breakfast for him consisting of eggs and bacon. Bob noticed a film-like substance on this plate and he asked his grandfather, "Are these plates clean?"
Grandpa replied, "Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them so go on and finish your meal."
That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers Grandpa made for lunch, Bob noticed tiny specks around the edge of this plate, and a substance that looked like dried egg yolks, so he asked again, "Are you sure these plates are clean?"
Without looking up from his hamburger, Grandpa said, "I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them; now don't ask me about it anymore!"
Later that afternoon, Bob was on his way out to get dinner in a nearby town. As he was leaving, Grandpa's dog started to growl and would not let him p**** so he shouted, "Grandpa, your dog won't let me out!"
Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching, Grandpa shouted, "Coldwater, get out of the way!"